Crimes against women have increased at a tremendous pace which is quite embarrassing for our society. Molestations, rapes, murders, dowry cases, etc. are some of the common ones that can be enlisted. There are as well certain other “syndromes” which are prevailing in our society but are not even counted. Why is our society being so cruel to women? It is genuinely a matter of concern and we must acknowledge that today women are none less than men in all aspects of life, then why are we having a biased attitude towards women in our society ?
A girl gets married but nowadays, only after few months or a few weeks even after few days she gets divorced, or her husband dies or anything unusual happens in her life, does her character get changed? I don’t understand why she is then considered to be incompatible to marry with any unmarried man. Has her life turned off with what mis fortune had come in? Then why are we being so brutal to our daughters? They are being deceived by even their parents. Why does’t anybody voluntarily accept her as his life partner despite of what has been her past. That what has happened is not her fault then we must not punish her in such a sordid way.
In such situation if she doesn’t get married for years and even if she gets married then that too with a person who is too elder to her and is having a couple of children already. Why isn’t she allowed to fulfill her dreams that she might harbour. In a very young age if she is married to an elderly person then she gets in an psychological dilemma that she has been burdened with such a big responsibility and there seems to be no balance in a relationship like this. She gets her life spent only in cooking and raiaing up his children. Her desires are crushed she spends rest of her life in a very depressing way. If ever a man comes to face situation of such a kind in his life, he has a license to marry a woman who is still unmarried but subjected to the conditions, there is no issue to the people living in our society. We even curse our daughters that they are a sort of impious and wicked individuals that is why they have put everybody in such kind of a tragedy. But, I don’t understand why we behave in this manner that we treat our women as if have they been made only to serve the men.
There is a very recent incident of a girl who was in her mid twenties and got married to a man who before this marriage was not willing to marry this particular lady. But forcefully he was made to accept this relation and few months ago they got married, but within a couple of days the girl realized that she has not been accepted in a way by her husband she deserves to be. Later what happened that within one month of their wedding they got separated. And no one of the two is willing to reconcile in between and they are looking for a divorce. Isn’t this discrimination with her that she is now considered to be as a ragged out commodity which has became stale and vague. The person whom with she got married should have thought of this before destroying her life. But as such her life has not been destroyed she is still normal. But According to norms of our society she is now a defected piece or we can say a used one which has lost its worth. Isn’t this a very shameful act? And the people who entertain such things should get themselves some counselling before making statements like this.
There have been incidents more dreadful than this one that parents get their daughters married to persons about whom they don’t have much knowledge. Mostly with someone who has settled abroad. In a very greedy manner they think that they have found a perfect match for their daughter which has been sometimes true. But in most cases what we find is that these persons had either already married someone and they have just come to fool you in order to loot what you have saved for your daughter. They stay in your home burdening you with expenses of their families as well. Then their son marry your daughter and after that they just leave for the country they are living in, making, promises that would come back soon to take your daughter with them, stating that they are bound to some legal formalities before they could take her with them. But they never return and leave your daughter again as I earlier said stale and vague. Sometimes even a woman might conceive and she must be expecting one.
In the earlier centuries we also had customs like burying girl child alive, the Sati system and also child marriage. At that time a girl child of less than 10 yrs of age was married to an ailing person which had been a terrible act. When their husband’s died they turned widow’s when they even don’t know what even marriage is. They had been kids who must have in their hands toys to play but our society had been so cruel to them that even sometimes a girl child was married when she had been even in her nappies. These practices had been really pathetic and after turning to be a widow they were sent to an Ashram, where they spent rest of their life with misery. What had been their fault just because they were born girls? No it can’t be. Then why were they just restricted in the four walls similar to that of a prison and they were prohibited to even eat sweets not to look upon any other male. They used to end up their lives without starting it and the dress for their whole life was a white sari. But social reformation put up an end to these evils that were prevailing in our society. We need such a kind of ideology and reformation now also so that we can execute such customs and traditions and also we can put up an end to such kind of a thinking which is a causing effect for such things to happen.
We even curse the other widows pitifully when a new bride is brought home and the mother-in-law if she had been a widow is supposed to be very mischievous and she is not permitted to make a formal reception of the bride which is indeed her right, and even her son too thinks in the same context. She thinks of herself to be impious for the job and some other woman who is still a matron is considered to be fit for the job.
It is really sad how do we treat women in our society. We should curse those who follow such satinic customs and we must take stand individually and jointly so that we can bring an end to such things which are immmoral and unethical and have no religious backgrounds and no historic evidences. Why are we adapting such kind of things? We need not to; we have to fight for our women because we have been so cruel and harsh to them. The creator had created the women soft heartened because she has to absorb feelings and emotions. But in this world her heart turned rock hard from what she has been facing since her creation.
We must take a pledge that we will respect our daughters, our mothers and our sisters and we must treat them very pleasantly. To curse them for any mis-happening is not a social concept. We must behave sanely and humanely so that we will let them breathe in this atmosphere without putting a label or a tag on their personality.
By Junaid Rafiq